Choices, or not
interviewed for a job with the VA serving veterans from Iraq & Afghanistan–coordinating their care as they attempt to adjust to debilitating injuries such as traumatic brain injury, amputation, and spinal cord injury. Basic case management it sounds like, maybe some opportunities for helping create/design programs closer to veterans’ own communities. The catchment area for this VA program covers parts of several states! I think I mentioned the awesome part time schedule. The interview went well. Could have nailed it if I were in a more confident phase, but am happy with solid. If they offer it to me, I’ll take it. Now, how long will it take for them to get back to me?
Today, I interviewed for a full time job on the OB floor where we had the girls. The work is certainly appealing–working with teen moms, grief counseling, adoption, child protective services, etc..fascinating. And there might be the opportunity for some program development–starting a grief group for women who’ve experienced stillbirth, fetal demise, or newborn death. how cool.
Would I be willing for the girls to be cared by someone else all day every day? not sure. I don’t have any models of that in my family and I have trouble imagining how it could work. I’m sure I would feel horribly guilty. Any feedback out there? It also seems like I would be exhausted! On the other hand, staying home as much as I am is driving me slowly insane. I am not doing most of the things that I could be: having time for frends, exercise, housework, creating community…I just feel tired. A therapist today mentioned I seemed depressed. Too bad no job is going to solve that one! But, back on the day care thing, I seem to feel more comfortable with putting Maya in care (on site daycare) than Avery. I wouldn’t be willing to take her away from her preschool, so there would have to be some finagling to get her into their all day option..but even then, they don’t have openings for every day, so it would have to be some combination of childcare options, the juggling type of act I am trying to avoid.
So, probably not. But will I be offered the job? What if I don’t get either?
Making Contact: Sorry I dropped off the face of the earth there for a few moments
I don’t know why I stopped blogging for a while. maybe the interviewing is making me feel like I’m putting myself out there in other ways, and I’m feeling overexposed. and I’ve been a tad depressed. but, i’m back. hopefully, not just up gasping for air, just to disapear again!
strengths and weaknesses
tomorrow, i have an interview at the VA. from what i hear, it’s quite competitive there & for all I know they already have someone & just need to fulfill the interview quota. But, nevertheless, one must prepare, so I’ve been thinking of examples of times I’ve been a goshdarnit great team member, and ways I’ve improved every place I’ve ever worked..this is one of those multiple interviewer deals where no one looks at you as they are all busily tallying whether you’ve hit all the required points..why put myself through this?
the possibilty of a part time (monday, tuesday every other friday) heavenly schedule. And to my surprise, the position sounds quite appealing as well–working with Iraq and Afghanistan vets, most with traumatic brain injury i’m guessing, helping them figure out how to adjust to their new reality.
meanwhile, i have several possibilities at the hospital too. one full time, plus some more PRN stuff. it’s pretty much taken over my world. sorry to be back out of the loop friends. miss you! wish me luck tomorrow. maybe one of these deals will be the right one & I can move on.
Good for me!
I got a haircut, it wasn’t quite right, ASKED the hair dresser (OUT LOUD) to do it differently.
Where have I been? Part 1
I came back from our marriage retreat in Colorado & didn’t feel ready to blog about it– I guess I wanted to some time to keep the experience just for us, and also, since my parents paid for it, there’s the akwardness of wanting only to thank them profusely, for fear that any processing might appear ungrateful. It really was wonderful.
The highlights were the best room in the castle, long hikes in majestic surroundings, and excellent food. It was also fascinating to talk with the other couples, all so different from us, and each other, though that got a little old for my introvert self.
As I anticipated, the material the super nice leaders had to share was a little heavy on the one way to look at things and divinely prescribed men/women differences. I felt that familiar conflict of wanting to belong to the group, but feeling unable to be accepted without locking myself into the group-think box & giving up the key. This was upsetting at times, probably because this has been a major conflict in my life, and still is at times, feeling like being me is at odds with belonging.
The good stuff was great: reminders to tend to your marriage like a garden that needs daily upkeep and hard work, an emphasis on forgiveness and constant vigilance against selfishness and bitterness, how if you both pursue God & Christ-likeness it will bring you together, love is a choice not a feeling, etc..etc.. But, the best part was hearing from other group members all at different stages in their marriage honestly sharing some of the tough spots they’re in or have gotten through. Walking around in my daily life, you would think everything is hunky dory with everyone’s relationship, there is so little transparency. It was validating to hear from real people that we aren’t the only ones who have ups and downs.
I was really hoping to come back with some new relevation of how to make our life work. A master plan. An answer from above. That didn’t happen. But, the time we spent together away from the stress of running a household gave us some more bonding in the bank to draw from when things get crazy busy around here. and that was well worth it. It was a special time and a great memory. So, yay! (& thanks, thanks, thanks mom and dad!)
Avery’s take on Obama
A while back, I was surfing the internet with Avery on my lap. There were two pictures of McCain and Obama side by side. I pointed at Obama and told her that was who we wanted to win. She got this weird expression on her face and said “I think people will like the other one better” I asked her why, thinking please tell me we are not going where I think we are going.. She then hesitantly ventured..”His skin is a little lighter. The one you likes skin is..a little dark..”
Where did she pick this up?!
I was SHOCKED and sad that my 3 year old would pick up on such basic racism. We’ve had many talks about it since and when we listen to him talk to cheering crowds she now often comments that “sounds like Obama is going to win, mom!” .
Let’s hope she’s right!
5th Anniversary Vacation!
We’re dropping the cuties off with my parents and headed for Colorado Springs! Thanks mom & dad! We’ll be staying at a castle, hiking the trails, and participating in a few hopefully palatable/enriching “fireside chats” with the Navigator folks who host this retreat. No kids! No fleas! 5 years! Should be a treat!
Next time, ask me
When I forget my purse at Avery’s school, house keys at play group, and lose my glasses 8 times, within 24 hours..
When I start reporting severe intestinal troubles (and freely sharing them as funny anecdotes)…
When I go from sentimental to manic to strident to witchy to gloomily disaffected within a few hours…
You might try to gently fit in the question of sleep into the conversation..
like : “UMM, have you SLEPT recently?!!!!”
The week before last I worked 3 nights. Unfortunately, this coincided with my buying a big ol’ pack of yummy Starbucks coffee. I went from the occasional green tea to COFFEE ALL THE TIME!
After losing my keys yet AGAIN, and finally asking “what is the DEAL here?!” (I mean, absent minded I am, but this was dementia-like) I thought back. Oh yeah, only slept about 2-3 hours on Wednesday and Friday and Sunday days after working all night Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday nights. Hmmm…Apparently, sleep is not optional.
Blown Away
Watched Steven perform with his Playback Theatre Company (http://www.playbackworkshoptheatre.com) this weekend. Basically, his group of 5 actors act out stories on the spot shared by audience members. This particular event was for National Coming Out Day. The group has also performed for Survivors of War trauma, prisoners, etc..
So, not only does he have absolutely no idea what he will be performing in front of, in this case, a big ol’ crowd, he’s also attempting to honor people’s very personal, sensitive stories. Yikes! You could not pay me a million dollars to do this.
And not only did he do it, he and his troupe did a PHENOMENAL job. I wish you could have been there. I was bawling my eyes out at a couple of these stories— and what the actors created was a true piece of art in motion. You should have heard the audience feedback he got! I’m so proud!
Near poop accident at Supertarget
No, Avery is doing AWESOME with potty training. And, Maya? pretty much on her usual early AM schedule.. And that leaves?… lack of sleep and too much coffee?
If anyone was watching the security cameras in Electronics, I’m sure they had a good belly laugh following my panicked sprint to the restrooms through Home Decor, Babies, Toys, and Shoes. Maya, under my arm for the abrupt “running with mommy time” was also laughing it up.
Seriously, what would I have done? Bought a new pair of pants? Washed my clothes out in the sink and dried them with the hand dryer? I have renewed empathy for potty trainers everywhere.
