Allinarow’s Weblog


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did I mention that I don’t feel like blogging lately?

Blablabla.  I started this blog when I was embarking on my stint as an ER social worker and adjusting to two kids vs.one: Old news!

In the meantime, I went though one of my more mopey phases ever—ADVISORY: blogging and moping should not mix.

Just in the last few weeks, my marriage, my identity and my perspective on both seem new again. I feel hopeful. But, I don’t feel like blogging.

Come visit me on Facebook!

new blog coming as soon as I’ve got something new to say!!


a little more

I was walking towards the nursing station to turn off the phones (we do this before group), and a patient, walking the other direction randomly hit me as she walked by. It hurt, but only for a few minutes.

I managed to escape to the nursing station untill I witnessed her get medicated. Definitely one of my more bizarre experiences.

Maybe it was just some sort of playground hazing type situation. I’ll be a little more prepared next time to (I guess) stand my ground, and what? say”That is INNAPROPRIATE!” ? I guess I’ll ask my supervisor for some tips. And maybe a helmet?


Hit in the Head

Where: Psych floor

When: Right before I led my first group (on stress management)

By Whom: A Patient

With What: Her fist, I think

The worst part: Getting speed-walked chased by her as she attempted to intimidate me afterwards (with some success)


Holiday Break

Can there be any better Christmas than Christmas with three year olds? It was a fun, relaxed Christmas for us, despite some vexing questions such as “Does the Christmas Spirit look like Santa?”, “Does he have a sleigh too?” Fortunately, Grandma fielded these quite well, with talk of invisibility, mystery and Generosity.
Going into 2009, we have a new kitchen floor, thanks to Steven’s dad, and are researching our way to a new mattress purchase (ours manages to be both slopey and lumpy.)
I have suddenly not been getting enough hours in the ER (the trouble with “as needed”? sometimes, you’re not needed), and I have not found a job with a more set schedule either (the VA job never materialized)— so off to the Psych floor I go!
I am getting trained on completing assessments and leading groups in the hospital Psychiatry ward (no, my depression is far from THAT bad!).
So far, so good. I like the clients and the staff with the added benefit that it’s much much saner than the ER. Plus, no nights.
Still looking for better childcare options.
I haven’t felt like blogging lately. Not sure why. but I appreciate you blogosphere friends out there. Your support has been surprisingly significant this year. It’s meant a lot. Thank you. Happy 2009 to you!!


Get ready Grandma & Grandpa: Santa questions coming your way!

My stance on Santa is to not confirm or deny. To me, telling Avery all about Santa would make me feel like such a LIAR! But, I don’t want her to be the kid telling everyone he doesn’t exist either. How have you other parents handled this one?

When I was a kid, a never-clearly-explained “Christmas Spirit” came and filled our stockings.  So, when she was telling me all about how Santa was going to come down Grandma and Grandpas chimney (and bring her lots of presents), I mentioned that I thought the Chrstmas Spirit, not Santa comes to their house. Her face fell and I immediately regretted it. After a pause, she asked “Does that other person ride a sleigh?”

Since it is their house, I’ve referred all further questions on this issue to Grandma and Grandpa.


Upcoming: Mysterious disapearance of the Little Mermaid

The other day, after school, Avery confided to me “Oliver doesn’t really talk to me much” with this kind of disappointed look. She’s been talking about Oliver a lot lately. Then yesterday, she had a new outfit and said “Oliver will be surprised”. Do preschoolers have crushes?! After school, I asked her if he told her he liked her new dress? She said “boys don’t talk like that, mom. He just looked and was surprised.”

When I watched Little Mermaid again wiht her that afternoon (her latest favorite), we came upon the scene where Prince Eric sees Ariel dressed up for the first time and stares at her, instantly in love, and as Avery put it “surprised”. Is she somehow picking up from this movie that she’s supposed to be impressing boys with how she looks?? Or am I imagining things?
Anyway, I’ve resolved to emphasize her smarts vs. looks and take a break from the princess stuff. Any suggestions on movies and books that aren’t all about girls desperately trying to get their prince charming?!


“No” tone, but something feels like a new connection

Got a message on my machine yesterday about the hospital OB job.

It had a definite “so sorry to have to tell you this” tone, though naturally I had to call back for the actual no. I was disappointed. Surprisingly.  I initially had thought there was no way I would consider full time. But, I had heard rumblings before the interview that they may have someone else who’d been in-house for years picked out.. so I wasn’t shocked.

Through interviewing for that spot, I’ve definitely moved closer to considering full time as possibly a better scenario than the stay at home/work part time choice for me. Now, I’ll be setting myself up to be better prepared the next time the right opportunity comes along, getting the girls on some center waiting lists, switching Avery to at least one all day day at the preschool (there’s a long waiting list for every day), applying again to the magnet schools for next year (all day, free!).

Still waiting for word on the VA job, though that’s an even longer shot than this OB one was. But, as Steven says, I’m in the game again now, and that’s what matters. I’ll keep you posted!


Flu shots not having much effect so far

Avery threw up again last night.  multiple times.  again.  the last time this happened (just a couple weeks ago!), we all got it, even poor little Maya!  I’m feeling fine so far & hoping it stays that way!


thanks!

thanks so much for your comments on my last post!  I found them so helpful.  Considering more options on what good mothering could look like for me is freeing.  We’ll see if I get offered anything on this go round & I will keep you posted!

M


Choices, or not

interviewed for a job with the VA serving veterans from Iraq & Afghanistan–coordinating their care as they attempt to adjust to debilitating injuries such as traumatic brain injury, amputation, and spinal cord injury.  Basic case management it sounds like, maybe some opportunities for helping create/design programs closer to veterans’ own communities.  The catchment area for this VA program covers parts of several states!  I think I mentioned the awesome part time schedule.  The interview went well.  Could have nailed it if I were in a more confident phase, but am happy with solid.  If they offer it to me, I’ll take it.  Now, how long will it take for them to get back to me?

Today, I interviewed for a full time job on the OB floor where we had the girls.  The work is certainly appealing–working with teen moms, grief counseling, adoption, child protective services, etc..fascinating.  And there might be the opportunity for some program development–starting a grief group for women who’ve experienced stillbirth, fetal demise, or newborn death.  how cool.

Would I be willing for the girls to be cared by someone else all day every day?  not sure.  I don’t have any models of that in my family and I have trouble imagining how it could work.   I’m sure I would feel horribly guilty.  Any feedback out there?  It also seems like I would be exhausted!  On the other hand, staying home as much as I am is driving me slowly insane.  I am not doing most of the things that I could be: having time for frends, exercise, housework, creating community…I just feel tired.  A therapist today mentioned I seemed depressed.  Too bad no job is going to solve that one!  But, back on the day care thing, I seem to feel more comfortable with putting Maya in care (on site daycare) than Avery.  I wouldn’t be willing to take her away from her preschool, so there would have to be some finagling to get her into their all day option..but even then, they don’t have openings for every day, so it would have to be some combination of childcare options, the juggling type of act I am trying to avoid.
So, probably not.  But will I be offered the job?  What if I don’t get either?