Get ready Grandma & Grandpa: Santa questions coming your way!
My stance on Santa is to not confirm or deny. To me, telling Avery all about Santa would make me feel like such a LIAR! But, I don’t want her to be the kid telling everyone he doesn’t exist either. How have you other parents handled this one?
When I was a kid, a never-clearly-explained “Christmas Spirit” came and filled our stockings. So, when she was telling me all about how Santa was going to come down Grandma and Grandpas chimney (and bring her lots of presents), I mentioned that I thought the Chrstmas Spirit, not Santa comes to their house. Her face fell and I immediately regretted it. After a pause, she asked “Does that other person ride a sleigh?”
Since it is their house, I’ve referred all further questions on this issue to Grandma and Grandpa.
I see Santa as a step towards adult faith. Maybe that’s a big thing to say about gifts at Christmas…but just as Christ works through us here on earth, “Santa” works through adults to bring Christmas. As children grow in awareness of the world, timing, sleighs, flying reindeer, etc., they gradually come to understand that Santa is a concept, not a person, and that they, too, can now be Santa to others…Sophia is probably on the edge; we have her this year but next year will probably be filled with doubt. I think doubt is important to the growth of faith, frankly, and Santa is a much safer way to experience this than God. I have heard the danger of “if Santa isn’t real, then is anything fantastical/faith based real?” but this hasn’t been my experience. Santa is not a big deal at our house–we don’t visit him in the mall, we don’t get all wrapped up in lists for him. But things arrive at Christmas that are undeserved and and not things that Mom or Dad would probably have gone for. And just like grace and faith are gifts…I know. This is complex for a 4 year old. But I believe it sets the stage. It did for me and my husband both, I know.
Hmm. I should post this myself…
Posted 11 months agoI haven’t figured this out yet – please let me know when you do
I think I prefer to keep my daughter as innocent as possible and keep the Santa concept going as long as I can – or at least what he embodies – giving, family togetherness, caring for others in need, etc. Franki’s not quite 3 and she asked me how will Santa get into our house since we don’t have a chimney?!?! I was stunned. Then she wanted to know why Santa flys instead of walks?!?!?! What will they think (or say) next!
Posted 11 months agoWhen I was a kid I loved the Santa myth. I utterly believed and was enchanted by the idea of someone who loved unconditionally and delighted in surprising children. I never felt “betrayed” when I eventually figured it all out — and I was nine years old(!) before a conversation overheard in the schoolyard tipped me off. I never viewed the myth as a lie or my parents as liars, although there are people who claim they had that reaction.
I couldn’t wait to perpetuate the myth with my own kids and I loved every minute of it. There were some things I refused to do… I never framed Santa as a judge of good/bad behavior… I never said that only good kids got presents… we never wrote letters to Santa.
We did sit on his lap for a picture but I don’t think either one of mine ever had the nerve to speak to Santa. I think they were so overwhelmed to be seeing him in person, they just sat on his lap and smiled for the camera and it was over.
We also left cookies and milk and a thank-you note for Santa, and an apple for the reindeer. In the morning the kids discovered a half-eaten cookie and a few inches of milk remaining… footsteps by the fireplace… a written response from Santa… oh, and an apple with a few bites out of it lying on the front lawn. Rudolph must have dropped it when the sleigh took off!
When they had questions about the logistics of Santa, I usually just turned it back on them… “Good question… hmm… how do YOU think he comes in without a chimney?”. They always had creative answers already formulated in their own little minds. Or they would readily accept an exception to the myth… for houses with roofs too small for eight reindeer and a sled (like ours), Calvin was fine with my suggestion that maybe Santa sometimes has to land on the lawn and let the reindeer wait there for him. To children, almost anything is possible.
Children don’t remain naïve and trusting all that long… before you know it, you will miss those days and the sweet innocence. Children may outgrow the myth, but it can leave a legacy for them.
Knowing firsthand the thrill and excitement of being singled out by Santa for a furtive visit, they can transition easily from believing in Santa, to wanting to BE someone else’s Secret Santa. I think it can help them develop a sense of giving and compassion because they know firsthand how it feels to be on the receiving end of a love that gives with no strings attached. Parental love does that, of course, but children tend to take that for granted. They never take Santa for granted.
Posted 11 months agobridgett, that was the best santa explanation/description for parents i’ve read. thanks for the insight.
Posted 11 months agoThanks for the thoughtful comments and sharing. It helps so much to hear what other people have thought through and experienced!
Posted 11 months ago