Where have I been? Part 1

I came back from our marriage retreat in Colorado & didn’t feel ready to blog about it– I guess I wanted to some time to keep the experience just for us, and also, since my parents paid for it, there’s the akwardness of wanting only to thank them profusely, for fear that any processing might appear ungrateful. It really was wonderful.

The highlights were the best room in the castle, long hikes in majestic surroundings, and excellent food. It was also fascinating to talk with the other couples, all so different from us, and each other, though that got a little old for my introvert self.

As I anticipated, the material the super nice leaders had to share was a little heavy on the one way to look at things and divinely prescribed men/women differences. I felt that familiar conflict of wanting to belong to the group, but feeling unable to be accepted without locking myself into the group-think box & giving up the key. This was upsetting at times, probably because this has been a major conflict in my life, and still is at times, feeling like being me is at odds with belonging.

The good stuff was great: reminders to tend to your marriage like a garden that needs daily upkeep and hard work, an emphasis on forgiveness and constant vigilance against selfishness and bitterness, how if you both pursue God & Christ-likeness it will bring you together, love is a choice not a feeling, etc..etc.. But, the best part was hearing from other group members all at different stages in their marriage honestly sharing some of the tough spots they’re in or have gotten through. Walking around in my daily life, you would think everything is hunky dory with everyone’s relationship, there is so little transparency. It was validating to hear from real people that we aren’t the only ones who have ups and downs.

I was really hoping to come back with some new relevation of how to make our life work. A master plan. An answer from above. That didn’t happen. But, the time we spent together away from the stress of running a household gave us some more bonding in the bank to draw from when things get crazy busy around here. and that was well worth it. It was a special time and a great memory. So, yay!  (& thanks, thanks, thanks mom and dad!)

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